Assalamualaikum! :)
Hai hai hai, it's been a while. Hihi kinda miss this routine: set font arial, set normal size, tulis tulis sambil bebel random then last sekali baru letak title randomly hihi hi i'm back!
So hmm what's up?
Today is 15th Aug 2016. Lemme rephrase it; it's the first day of three-weeks holidays of year4. Hmm so year 4, it went quite hmm wavy, i would say. It was filled with random surprises and heartaches, unexpected things.
The latest one was remedial exam for cons. So I failed a subject - which I believe due to my failure in cons competency test, earlier in May 2016, which put me as one of two candidates who failed the subject in this year 4 final exam. Therefore, I have to sit for a remedial exam, consisting of 2 papers (mcq, saq), another competency test, and oral viva for this subject. If I pass this exam, I may proceed into year 5, but if I fail, I have to repeat my year 4 of clinical studies - which obviously, saddens, demotivate and depressed me (the list goes on and on haha).
We got a week off before remedial exam. My exam is on the first and second day. Okay makanya di sebalik kelam kabut perasaan dan kekelaman masa depan itu, hari-hari pun berlalu dengan pantasnya dan penuh dengan emosi setiap hari. From I can do this, we can do this hinggalah can I really do this. Begitulah dilema kita. Tapi alhamdulillah, Kak Mir ada menolong dan kami pun sama-sama bantu emotionally and academically ececeh padahal revise flip flip je sesama but alhamdulillah it helps.
Dan hari exam pun datang menjengah kita yang tak mampu tidur hingga jam tiga pagi kerana terasa masih kosong otaknya dan berlalulah ia meninggalkan kita dengan persoalan yang masih betul benar-benar terjawab dalam exam sebab kita tak pasti.
Malam menanti hari kedua penuh dengan sendu sebab terlalu anxious. Kebetulannya, seorang kawan sekolah ada update status facebooknya haritu, menyesali kebisingannya di waktu sekolah dulu dengan alasan mitos orang diam lebih cepat kahwin dan mungkin sedikit meratapi nasib sambil memujuk diri yang belum bertemu jodoh di usia dini 23 tahun seperti kita ini dan malam itu, di meja batu di bawah dm4 itu, kepada Kak Mir, kita menjawab -- Kak Mir, saya ada masalah dan kebimbangan yang lagi besar daripada kerisauan saya tak bertemu jodoh lagi pada usia 23 tahun which is competency exam esok. Dan kami berdua sama-sama mengeluh panjang dan termenung memikirkan masa depan yang satu ini.
--- anyway, i read once; do not belittle pain you haven't endured. Anyway, for whoever is looking for a spouse, i'm praying the best for you. May He sent you someone who will lead you to His path in this world and the next, at the right time, when the time is right. InsyaAllah, your time will come --- lulz asal cakap cam dah found the one dah ni haha lulz kbye
Dan hari kedua yang menakutkan itu pun datang. Dalam tiga jam itu, kelam kabut kita masih setia bersama kita, ditambah lagi dengan void di akhir masa yang memerlukan kita repair sikit di bahagian proximal namun akhirnya macam sama je dan tak menjadi jugak hinggalah Dr yang supervise kita itu volunteer nak repair on the spot. Dan kita pula menjadi assistant Dr dan melihat dari celah-celah tangan Dr betapa skillful nya seorang Dr membaiki labu yang dirosakkan oleh seorang student tikusan lulz
Dan petang itu pula, dua puluh minit yang mendebarkan sebab kita perlu berbual eh no bersoal jawab tentang satu subject ini hmm dan alhamdulillah ia berlalu dengan tenang sekali di samping ke-blur-an kita dan ke-diam-an kita.
Hari Khamis datang, menjanjikan keputusan untuk kami, mahu memaparkan jalan ke masa depan kami. Alhamdulillah, lulus. Tiada kesempatan untuk jumpa dr untuk berterima kasih, malu untuk mesej -- ni jenis malu tak bertempat betul haha maafin saya, doc. Anyway, if this words get through any of you, thank you Dr. Terima kasih sebab sabar. That's what I truly wanted to say. Terima kasih sebab sabar dengan kami, students yang sedikit slow bergerak, terima kasih sebab tak give up dengan kami di saat kami nak give up, terima kasih sebab bagi kami second chance, terima kasih sebab sabar. Betul, itu yang jujur saya nak cakap. And perhaps, that's why I didn't message them. Because I would like to say thanks to them for being patient with us, but it didn't sound right. So I just doa dari hati, semoga Allah kurniakan kebaikan kepada semua guru-guru saya ini dengan kebaikan di dunia dan di akhirat, aminnn!
Any lessons learnt?
1. I can do it, if I want.
2. Whatever the outcome would be, I am happy and satisfied as long as I gave my best.
3. You'll surely learn the hard way.
---
Done with Doc&Roll in one day. Thanks Dr FH for such an inspiring (and funny at times haha) book. Perhaps, one day, I'll be as good as you. InsyaAllah.
Quoting Doc&Roll:
Life journey:
Sometimes life is like a pathway along a tunnel with so many rooms of uncertainties. And its greatest risk is not to take the risk by not doing what you want, while assuming you'll have the freedom to do it later.
Spiritual journey:
Sometimes a journey can take you to a place that is not on any map. It touches you to the core, so impactful that it can change your perception towards life.
-150816, Mon, home
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