virtual wishes

Assalamualaikum.


Menyumbat telinga dengan lagu slow ini tapi kita tahu tiada ketukan drum di sana dan melihat kalendar di dinding, kita rasa ada orang akan balik (ke dah balik? haha) tak lama lagi dan insyaAllah genaplah usianya sebaya kita within tett tett seminggu lagi. This is an advance wish: happy birthday yeay (:

Oh dah kita mula berkira-kira oh dah tujuh tahun rupanya. Selamat pulang ke kampung halaman. InsyaAllah nanti jumpa dan masih tak kenal, macam dulu haha


Okay jom masuk zon lain. 


For this one occasion, this quote was applicable, "Some things are better left unsaid."

Why? Because according to our assumption, we'll get depressed if we did it the common way. We'll get hurt by the response. Emotionally. And that explains why we said nothing even though it was a big day for someone like you, supposedly.

But we might be wrong in judging others. Perhaps for this one particular day, you'll be pleased with our wishes and you'll appreciate it. But we were too scared to take the risk and so, we just let the day passed by.

But don't worry, you were and will always be in our du'aa insyaAllah. Because it is easier that way and we know, to get through the heart of others (if it is too hard to reach them through daily conversations and actions, and there are too many things you wished to tell them and yet they can't seem to hear you, and you are so fragile and afraid of saying what's in your heart and mind, and you are sad whenever you ponder on this), - if it's that hard - we can only get through their hearts via the One. The One who holds their hearts. The One who knew them inside and out. The One who can connect and reconnect our hearts. And through Him, we hope that you'll know what we've been trying to tell you all this while. InsyaAllah.



Zone out.


The aim was to complete the technical work by Thursday. It was Wednesday. The one on duty wasn't there, unfortunately. So the replacement person was the one who were supposed to ensure things were done according to the criteria needed. We were in high spirit to get things done on that day straight away.

Before proceeding, we prayed silently in our heart, " O Allah, if this thing is the best for me, let me pass through this today. If it's not, it's okay. Give whatever that is the best for me, O Allah."

And so we entered the room, asking for permission to proceed. It was rejected. Ouch. We left the room in silence and felt so angry with ourselves.

(Kejap, why 'we'? I don't know, it was supposed to be 'me'' or 'I' tapi when referring to ourselves, it's like things happened because amira, azreen and nur did that. There's no one particular person who did those things alone haha, they did it together! haha)


So, what's up with being angry? It was more towards being depressed. We were upset with ourselves. Because the moment it was rejected and we left the room, I gave up. I felt very sad and perhaps almost cry. And yup, the one who prayed to the Lord the minutes before she entered the room forgot about her prayer. I forgot I've prayed beforehand to be given what's best for me.

And I was so frustrated with myself for the rest of the day. For being a forgotten and ungrateful servant. So I let myself sleep earlier that night because it feels like something has crumbled inside me. Well obviously, something did. I wasn't sincere in making du'aa to Him. It was the pain of insincerity.

(And it was a double pain because a few days before that event took place, we've read an article on suhaibbwebb.com, 'The pain of insincerity' Here's the link to it: the-pain-of-insincerity)

It was a double Ouch. Ouch ouch.




Oh dan ini. 

http://myislammedia.blogspot.com/2014/06/nyawa-untuk-nyawa-al-kuliyyah.html

Menangis.